A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he's on a beach. The sand is dark red.
He can't believe it. The sky is dark red.
He walks around a bit and sees there is dark red grass, dark red birds and dark red fruit on the dark red trees. He's shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn dark red too.
"Oh no!!" he says . . . . .
.
.
.
.
"I've been marooned!!"
Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say
10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "drop dead" attitude... I like that.
7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.
6. Father's Day? Baahh--don't worry about that--no biggie.
5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend... you might want to consider throwing a party.
4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
And the #1 thing you will never hear...
1. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
Signs You're Getting Too Old To Drive
It takes more than four minutes to get out of your car.
When backing into a parking spot, you just back up until you hear something.
It scares you to drive the speed limit.
The only thing you pass on the road anymore is the Amish.
You use cruise control because your leg fell asleep.
You use cruise control at 25 mph.
You inquired if the dealership could install magnifying glass for the windshield.
Your turn signal has been on since 2003.
Your bumper sticker endorses Eisenhower.
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